InnerU

If you’re loveSTUCK, maybe the glue is YOU

February 16, 2018

InnerU

Well, we did it. We got through another Valentine’s Day. So how would you rate yourself on this love-li-est of holidays? Did you have mind-blowing sex? Dinner by candlelight? A deep conversation?

Yes? Yay for you. No?

If you’re having trouble getting what you’re looking for on the dating scene, you may fall into one of three categories:

Category One: You are too busy LOATHING the dating sites to find anything remotely close to LOVE on them.

Category Two: One more V-Day alone and you swear you are moving to Menver (Men + Denver). ‘Cause any state has gotta be better than the one you currently live in: fear, dread, and doubt.

Category Three: Any minute now (see: never) you’ll post new photos of yourself online.

Well, we’ve got some good news for you. (Yes, beside the fact that V-Day fell on a Wednesday this year (hump day?), and not a weekend!)

We’re titillated (a hard word to even type!) to announce that the cheat sheet (actually, it’s more like a five-page how-to book!) you’ve been waiting for has arrived: The 3H’s Guide™️ to Righting Your Dating Profile.

Because let’s face it. Nowadays, dating starts with a screen (and a swipe). And many of us use this very fact as an excuse to bemoan the state of affairs and quit trying.

Where do you fall? Have you ever found yourself thinking or saying the following re: your quest for LOVE?

At my age, finding love is another sequel to mission impossible.
All men want younger (than me) women.
All women want is to get married and have babies.
The dating sites are a numbers game…and I’ve never been the lucky type.
I need to learn to be happy alone first.
I need to lower my expectations. After all, everyone comes with baggage.

You SO know we could go on and on and on.

Ever consider that you (and your theories) are your love life’s/profile’s biggest problem? Please do. And then smile and breathe a sigh of relief. You see, if you are your love life’s obstacle, you’re also its solution.

Want help getting started? We have some tips for you.

Let’s start where it all begins. On the screen …

The (Hu)manual

To human: verb

To care to your core. To matter to yourself. To get conscious of what we’re currently unconscious of. To upgrade your operating system.

Get the (Hu)manual

Get Your Love Together…

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Here’s a teaser of our tips …

1. Be You. Only Better

As much as we know you want your profile to not only aptly represent you, but differentiate you from ALL others, we still recommend being wholly and honestly yourself in it. In other words, don’t be who you think others want you to be or who you wish you were. However, if you are, for example, a bad speller or a bit careless, use this opportunity to be yourself, only better-er.

2. Get Clear about What You Want

First step in writing/righting your profile is to make sure you know exactly what you want. Sure, you know what you don’t want, but before you write your profile and post it––get honest about what matters most to you. How? Know your 3H’s criteria. Your 3 whats? Your Head, Heart and Hoo-ha: the three critical voters inside each of us that each have an equal say if a person is our person or not. Your Head is interested in what looks good on paper, i.e. where they live, what they do for a living, do they have kids or want them, etc. Your Heart cares if you have similar interests, religious and political beliefs, trust, and respect, etc. Your Hoo-ha wants to ensure there’s chemistry, i.e. do you find them attractive, hot, sexy, cute, twinkly? Are they your desert island pick? In the profile itself, you certainly don’t have to list out everything you want, but you need to have it in mind as you write the right ad for your ideal.

3. Make Sure Your Profile TRULY Matches Your Dream

Once you know your true and fair 3H’s list, make sure your profile matches it. For example, if you are looking for the love of your life, the last first date you will ever go on, do NOT write in your profile that you’re looking for possible friendship, a partner in crime and/or someone to travel and dance with. One is a playmate, the other a soul mate. The man or woman that gets turned off by your admission of your ideal, ain’t YOUR person.

… and there’s more where that came from. What? We never promised we weren’t a CT (coaching tease)! Get the full scoop on “righting” your profile here.

Finally — we’re ready to put our money where our mouth is when it comes to coaching on love, dating, and relationships. That’s why I’m joining my sister Lauren Handel Zander this Friday at 4 pm for our FIRST Facebook Live: Love is in the ~~Where~~? Air on the @HGLifeCoaching Facebook channel. And we’re taking questions NOW for this special live event. So send me one and all of your questions, from what to put in your profile to how to have difficult conversations to when to pop the question. Lauren and I will have answers for you.

Love,

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