While there are many ways to lie, here are four ways you may not be telling your full truth at work:
Lie #1: Not sharing your opinion or feedback
Remember your coworker’s wacky idea to market bacon on J-Date or an inappropriate meme they wanted to share? The idea you gave a thumbs up to because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings, even though you knew it would end in disaster.
There is nothing nice about this kind of niceness. Rather, it is unfair to let others fail. The best way we can show our colleagues that we care is to offer input and feedback that is truthful, graceful, and aimed at their growth.
Lie #2: Getting offended and not speaking up
Whether someone rolls their eyes at us in a meeting, makes a comment that offends us, or passes us over for a raise, we have all felt hurt by another person at work.
At the end of the (work) day, all human beings have feelings – lots of them.
However, when most of us feel hurt, we stay quiet and harbor resentment, which can poison our relationships and get in the way of doing our best work. When we get hurt, we manufacture new theories to explain the experience – what is wrong with them, the company or the world.
Lie #3: Gossiping
“What a know-it-all. They must love to hear the sound of their own voice because they never stop talking.”
“I know what you mean. If I have to be in one more meeting with them, I’m going to jump out the window.”
This could be a side conversation at any company, anywhere in the world. Although water cooler gossip might seem harmless, it is a great way to poison the office.
We gossip when we face a difficult situation and we don’t know how to handle it head on. Instead of going to the person who has power to do something about it – like the “know-it-all” themself, who clearly doesn’t know how they come across – we go to our buddy to get things off our chest.
While this may make us feel better in the short term, it is a destructive, manipulative tactic that undermines others’ credibility, not to mention our own.
Lie #4: It is safer to avoid the truth
This is a lie we tell ourselves, over and over again. We somehow think it is risky to tell people what we really think.
The truth is, justifying our lies is another big fat lie. The straightest line to getting what we want is telling it straight.
Are you guilty of any of the above?
Ed and Joe sure were. After we took them through the HG process and coached the two on how to get real with each other, they acknowledged their mutual hurts, shared how they felt dissed, and learned how to resolve issues as they came up.
To the shock of their colleagues, they healed their relationship and became regular lunch companions. Within a few months, team performance improved and company profits increased by 25%!
As they say, the numbers don’t lie. We have nothing to lose from telling the truth. And profits, personal pride, and a new pal or two to gain.
What is the conversation you need to have today?
Very TRU-ly Yours,